Are you really sure that extra marital affair is good??

By chance, I came across with this article which makes me wonder.. are you really sure that affairs is a constructive catalyst in a marriage? ok.. maybe to some point, she is not entirely wrong.. but I am curious.. the whole article says about guys having or I should say.. enjoying the affairs .. which the "suffering" party- the gal.. will have to bare with it.. and ultimately.. able to go through this this disaster right.. Ok.. wel.. she makes me wonder.. the whole article only mentioned that about a guy having an affair is bearable..

Let's look things from another point shall we? If...this happens to the other party.. maybe the female that is having an affair.. will this be applicable as well? I would say.. certainly.. NO.. why is it so??this is merely because, we human being.. are selfish.. can you bear with betrayal? regardless of the reasons.. can you? if you are a gal.. to some point.. you might considered.. but guys.. can you stand all these? chances are.. you will end up having a divorce.. right? Why am I so sure?? wel.. of course this does not apply to all guys.. but.. heh..I realised that most guys.. they are more "small gas" than you can ever imagine.. the reason they says " it is ok.." is because they have a name to uphold..a name called "gentleman"... but like what I said.. we do have a limit before we shows our real colour.. However, try not to test how far is the "limit" for we gals k? You might be taking things for granted because you ASSUMED that we gals doesn't have a limit.. but.. at that point of time. .we might not have the strength.. the ability to shout things out.. but do bear in mind that.. we are not stupid.. we KNOW what is happening.. once when the limit is exceeded.. TRUST ME.. you won't want to know what's next k??

Like what I once said.. please be fair to all.. if you think affairs is good for marriage.. then.. you should tell you wife.. and have a mutual agreement that.. both party can enjoy their affair "openly".. that.. to me.. will be a fair shot.. and it might actually be good for a marriage.. but.. if you are certain that you will not want to share your wife with others.. then.. please.. make sure that thoughts such as affair should never cross your mind.. else.. you might just regret for what that will follow by?? May be you have some other thoughts? please.. by all means.. share with me!!

Are you the tree, leaf or wind??

I believe most of you would have read or at least heard of the story of tree, leave and wind? If you have yet to hear of it, you can read if from here ( for chinese vesion )or here ( english version). Ok.. let me be frank, the english version.. is not translated by me.. but it is simply "copy and paste" from somewhere else..

However, reading back at this story.. which I once got it from some1 that is no longer standing around me.. it somehow has another meaning.. but.. let's keep it for another day shall we? Back to this story.. Some presume them to be only one of those 3 characters.. but.. I am pretty sure that.. we've been through the 3 stages.. or maybe.. we will be going through these? it is a matter of time.. Hence, there is no certainty as to.. whether you are the "tree", "leaf" or the "wind".. ok ok.. you might not agree with me now.. but I am pretty sure.. one day.. u will agree?!

At some point of time.. when you are way too confident that you are worth the time for some1 to wait for you.. it is when you are taking things for granted.. you are known as the "tree".. one that will only look at things that are ,of your "definition" ,of "your standard". When you only look things align with your eye side, it is when you starts to lose out? Ya.. life is about opportunity cost.. when you wishes to gain from one side.. you will have to, whether you like it or not, forgo something.. but do bare in mind that.. when you choose to forgo.. never take things for granted by assuming that.. you are worth the wait.. because.. no one is worth for one's time to be wasted waiting for.. Time does not stop for anyone.. However, if you do think it is worth the risk to take.. go ahead pls!! But, if you are taking this risks.. never look back if things do not go as planned.. because.. you asked for it?!

Leaf, you are either way too insecure, too confidence or too ignorance to think that you will get what you desired.. if you wait.. you wishes to prove that.. time will tell.. that you are the best? but , are you? You are too insecure to make the first step.. to step out of your comfort zone..or you are ignorant or maybe too confidence to enough to think that.. ultimately, you will be the only choice that comes into his mind.. if a decision is needed?? So, whether he/she is too insecure, too ignorance or too confidence.. that.. I leave it to you to answer..

Wind, how should I put this.. you are the savior.. Without your existence, leaf will not even have the courage to make the step right? however, how strong can you be? Are you sure that you are able to withstand the bonds between the leaf and the tree? Are you sure that.. ultimately.. you will win? I am pretty sure that.. if you without a try, you will not know.. but, please do bare in mind that.. this is not a game!! A game where, if you are able to pull the leaf off the tree, you will win and it is your choice to throw the leaf aside.. and you can be the tree to the leaf all over again? Wouldn't it be way too cruel to do so? You have to know that.. it takes more than just courage for the leaf to step out of the comfort zone? Ok.. you might noe all these.. but you still wish to experiment all these? ok.. go ahead thn.. but do noe that.. Karma will hunt you down.. What goes around comes around..

So, are you the wind, the leaf, or the tree?? .. .. ..

Is it so?!

I had the time to read back on the old blog I once had.. and while reading it.. I realised I used to write great post.. especially those that will really make me feel emo. .. ok.. I shall say that.. I used to feel highly insecure. I used to build a wall that restrict anyone to pass by it.. and in the same time.. I want to be understood.. complicated? Ya.. I know...

Ya.. I know I look strong and "unbeatable" from the outside.. but to be frank.. it is just a mask frm a vulnerable me.. So, should I say that.. the more tough one appear to be.. it might only shows that.. that some1 might be highly insecure and once this wall is broken into half.. the next thing you will see.. is some1 crying like a big baby?

The thing is.. no matter how hard you are trying to avoid one thing.. if you fail to face it.. it will haunt you down.. so.. the question now is.. do you have the courage to face it?? I know.. at times it hurts to face the facts.. and I know at times it is scary to take the next step.. as one unknown. somehow will lead you to another unknown which.. you are not in control of.. but the bare truth.. life is all about risks.. if you are not willing to take the first step.. and you are afraid of the past haunting you.. you will not be able to able to live out of the past.. you will forever remain status quo.. is that what you wish for??

I have to be frank.. I am not tough at all.. but I am trying to be.. I used to describe myself as a cactus.. and I still do think I am.. A cactus that look scary and ugly from the outside.. but might be gentle from the inside.. A cactus that might hurt some1 is you come too close.. but in the same times, without you realizing it, I might get hurt too? However, I do hope to be as strong as a cactus.. one that can withstand hot sun, strong wind... and one that are proud to be called as a cactus..


If you think smile is a sign of happiness.. think again.. Again.. if you think cry is a sense of sadness.. it might not be entirely correct.. Laugh alone does not entirely represent happy.. what more smile.. Again, without tears.. it does not mean that one is not sad.. right?

你不知道的事..

There are lots of things remain unknown.. or I should say.. remain unspoken... or to be more exact.. it should be said as.. remain unwanted to be known.. Yes.. I know.. At times.. you wish to know something.. but somehow.. deep down inside.. you are afraid to know.. because you know.. in some degree.. you care too much to know that.. the story behind all these might hurt you deeply.. I know how you feel.. because without knowing it.. still.. you will feel unsecured.. but the consequences of your curiosity.. might cause you to know severe headache.. because you have to try solving or stay calm trying to find a way out of this mess.. This is where I am... It will not be possible to see all these from me.. because.. I wear a mask? but if you were to look into my eyes.. or to feel what I am feeling.. you will know..

Some were shocked to know that.. people at my age actually have my mind set.. But the thing is.. I have to.. not because I want to.. with all that I faced.. it will be impossible to not have such thinking.. is it a good thing? ok.. wel.. the truth is.. I guess I have to be glad that.. I think one step further? I asked when I don't understand even though it might sound ridiculous.. It can be kind of stress to be who I am.. but I guess.. I have to look strong.. to be able to stand up and face the world.. I cannot hide away.. because.. like some1 once told me..you can run.. but you cannot hide.. it will haunt you.. until you are brave enough to face it.. and overcome it.. I am not strong..in case you don't know.. but I am working hard to make myself strong enough to not to step back when I face obstacles.. I am working hard to be comfortable with what ever that is happening around me..

Below is a nice song.. a song that I would have.. entertain me when I am pressured with my surrounding.. at the very least.. it sang out the part that says.. "things that you do not know".. because.. if you think you do know me well.. do think again pls..

我還是我- I AM WHO I AM

I came across this video posted by Namewee today. I am pretty sure most of you will know who is he right? He is one artist which I can't help but to respect him so so much!! He is dare enough to speak up without fearing of anything.. How nice if I can be like him.. maybe I care way too much at times that I rather keep things to myself than to speak up.. Ya.. I do realised that at times.. I put others above me.. How can I not do so once I put myself in their shoes.. understanding how they are feeling.. I would rather keep my feeling for myself.. and remain silence.. this is who I am.. wearing a mask and facing the world.. tired ? Hell ya.. but wat else can I do? speak up? maybe.. one day.. but today might not be the day..

The thing is.. if you have yet to realised.. the only thing that remain unchanged around you is change itself.. don't get me? Well, think hard.. things are changing regardless whether you like it or not.. whether it is for the best or for the worst.. hence.. it is change itself that is remain unchanged, because it will continue to change right? If you have yet to realised.. I am still who I am.. I am still this gal that has tones of questions waiting to be answered.. I will continue to ask questions whether you like it or not.. whether it irritates you or not.. because I realised.. it is never right to assume stuff.. when I don't know.. I should ask.. even thought common sense can answer this question.. but I would rather hear it from you than to assume the answer from you.. I do know it can be irritating at times.. but you know wat.. It's all up to you to choose whether to answer or not.. but I choose to ask.. I might be emo at times..or rather.. most of the times.. but I will settle my own feeling.. this is who I am.. I am independent? tat.. it is not up to me to say this..

I really like this new song of his.. you can have a clearer view of his lyrics from here .

Below is his new song..

還是我 I AM WHO I AM by Namewee 黃明志好好野專輯主打

Mind your words pls?!!

I over heard this today while I was driving to work.. ok.. I know I have been outdated.. well.. I hardly read news.. and the only source of update on current news.. solely based on the 10 min news update from Radio will not be good enough.. but.. lazy la.. hahaha XP..

Ok.. back to the topic.. I heard about this one thing.. which I do think clarification is highly needed!! Ya.. I know rape cases increase significantly through the year.. However, the thing is.. how can you blame it so much on female's attire? I know.. I know.. somehow or rather.. it does contribute in someway.. but heh.. if you blame it so much on female's attire.. thn.. does it mean that.. divorce cases that increase tremendously.. I can start to blame it on guys that are not loyal and cheated on their wife? Ok.. let me clarify here.. when a gal feels good about them selves.. why can't they wear which ever attire that they like? there is no rules saying it is forbidden right? However, it doesn't say or has the label on their forehead saying that.. "Heh.. You are welcome to my world!" This reminded me of a post I once wrote. Men, are they just risk taker? or they are sole short sighted? Ya.. I know some gals which to show off of how they feel about themselve.. but there is nothing wrong with that.. However, it is wrong to make assumption.

About divorce cases.. well.. I wouldn't make assumption that most are due to disloyalty from their beloved ones.. but I do know that some are.. However, this still do puzzled me after so long.. guys.. are they really just short sighted? or they are merely risk taker? With the hope that their action will not be found out.. they desired took over their thoughts.. and shits happened.. so.. who to blame? really.. doesn't it seems clear? why do you have to put the blame on others? Can't you just reflect on your action and maybe.. think before things are spilled out? Well.. I almost forgot that.. they risk taker.. However.. I am not saying that.. all guys are.. I do hope that you are not.. and you will think hard before any actions are taken.. before once it is done.. it is done.. there is no turning back.. Looking back at my post.. I realised I wrote it in Chinese.. for those that don't really understand.. ok.. I will translate part of what I wrote in english for u this time.

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I once observed this one case.. which I believe.. most of us do see such case happening .. yet.. we choose to ignore.. choose not to see and understand.. There are ppl that willnig to give up a happy family just bec of "their desire".. let go of the one that has been sleeping beside you for so many years.. your children because of desire.. all these because you wish to go for some "fresh meat"? However, with the if you asked the similar question to a woman.. will they be willing to do so? Maybe they will do so too.. but so far.. I have only heard of a woman that is willing to let go of everything because of her family..but not vice versa..They are willing to take in anything just to see their children smile.However, if we were to change the character of the story to a guy.. how many of them willing to do so? . Maybe there are cases that Men are willing to do so.. but if we were to compared.. what will be the ratio? There is such case I observed.. He is willing to sell his property for his mistress, with the hope that his family will accept her.. his wife will understand.. HA.. won't that be way too.. "fairy tale"? How many woman on this earth will be able to accept such "non sense"? He ended up losing everything.. his family, his wife.. his children.. his mistress.. So.. wat is the feeling of losing everything when you wises to get everything? He took things for granted.. and ended losing everything!Why didn't he think of such ending before he make his first move? Ended up trying to commit suicide will bring him no where either.. His action will only make his ex wife felt glad that she let him go.. at the very least.. there is no need to live her daily life looking at his "betrayed" face.

However, if such case happened on a woman.. I am pretty sure that the whole world will start to blame her.. scold her.. Still I can hardly understand.. why guys can be understood.. but why can;t this apply to a woman if the same thing happened on them? Before a guy even think of making the first wrong move.. can't they see the consequences of it? Are they risk taker? or they are just short sighted? Still, in the end.. they will end up saying.. " I am sorry.. please do forgive me.. I am no god.. I will make mistake too.. I promise.. there is no next time.. starting from now.. you will be the only woman in my life.. .. blah blah blah.." Chances are..the wife might just forgive him because she understands that their children still need their father..but there is no guaranty that this will be the last time he said so.. TRUST is build upon time.. it can never happen in a day or two.. Hence.. once you owned it.. do keep in.. don't ever break such miracle.. because once you lose it.. it might never return..
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So, anyone out there willing to take up such task.. and maybe try to enlighten me with " whether man, they are short sighted or risk take?"

我是一隻小小鳥 - 丁噹

Sorry for not updating my blog for such a long time.. well.. start work d.. At times, it can be really bz.. and without realising.. time passed and it is time to go back.. I do not want to make blogging a a work.. because it will only make me feel stress.. not saying that what I am doing are stressful.. but it might sounds funny.. I actually enjoy what I am doing..

I am really glad that I found what I am looking for.. I read this somewhere that states,

"HAPPINESS IS NOT DETERMINED BY HOW MUCH YOU HAVE BUT IT IS DETERMINED BY HOW LITTLE YOU NEED"

this is really true.. you can never be happy if you can never be contended with what you have.. I once feel nothing seems to be good enough for me.. I started to blame a lot of things around.. and looking back at things.. I have things that others don't have. Although I might have been through a lot.. maybe more than those which is around my age experienced, I am who I am today because of what I have been through.. Hence, if I were to be given a chance to do things all over again, I guess, the only different I would be doing is that.. I would only desired to be a better person.. one fine day, when I look back at myself, I am glad of the steps taken.. that I am not standing at status quo.. I have move forward.. this is not too much to ask for right?

This is one nice song.. and I really do like it a lot..It translated what I am feeling at this moment., I hope you will like it too..

丁噹-我是一隻小小鳥