I guess I have been dreaming all these while.. you know.. the type of typical country gal pondering and dreaming of something huge.. wanting to "save" the world.. but ultimately.. only wishes to save herself from the ugly side of the world.. hoping and praying that she can always remain in the wonders of the good side of the world? wel.. it is time to wake up and find myself back to the reality.. I know.. I am a gal that is highly insecure.. I can't help it but wonder tones of possibilities.. some might sound not logical.. but maybe in some sense.. it makes me feel better.. but.. I guess I can never run away from the truth.. ya.. I know Jon once told me.. the truth can be ugly.. and.. some truth are meant not to be reveal.. for the best of both parties.. I know.. but do you know that it is also true to say that if I can accept you.. I will accept the true you.. and not the one that I wishes you to be.. because you are who you are.. I rather you hurt me now than to find out some hidden lies ( or should I say some white lies ) one day in the future..
The reality is.. life is never fair.. when you started to treasure something so much so that you are not willing to let go.. maybe it is time for you to let it go.. for the good of both party.. I need to face the reality that.. regardless of how much have been given out or sacrifices.. I guess.. it will only be regarded as a foolish act one day.. if it is not being appreciated.. I know I did nothing wrong.. but I guess one day.. maybe another party will have the same thought too.. because things can be deceiving when it comes to wat have been seen.. heard.. felt.. as opposed to what is called as "the truth".. Of all skills I've learn throughout my whole degree.. reflection and justification are of the best use.. I know not many will back me up.. but don't you think that wat is the truth.. might not be that important.. as it is how you justify it as the "truth" that matters the most? Reflection.. is one skill that not many mastered. Only through reflection you will learn what have you done wrong.. and avoid history from repeating .. ..
Still.. I can't help it but wonder.. what have I done wrong.. or should I rephrase it to.. What more can I do to make it right?