Little motivation pls?!

Ok.. I've not been in my best shape lately.. with all the assignments and work load.. I can only choose to either have more rest and skip class.. or go for classes and rest less.. what did I go for.. tat's not the point.. but with my lack og time management.. I had to learn it the hard way that.. things don't always go my ways regardless how much efford I put in..

I just got my result for my assignment.. and one of my assignment mark shocked me.. I din't failed ( thank god!) but I break my record and got the lowest of all.. Well.. I was kind of down.. because I did put lots of efford trying to complete it.. and this makes me wonder wat when wrong.. what i did was not wat that is required? or is it because wat i did was totally out of point? I know.. it's only 30% out of finals.. but.. when you work kind of hard on something.. you will not expect the worst out of it right? sad? been through that.. now.. what I really need is for someone to tell me.. motivate me on letting go of the past and focusing on the future.. I know I should focus on the future and work double hard to make sure I'll get the best out of what is left over.. I know that what ever that I've and will give in does makes it equal to what I will get back.. but I also know that without giving in.. I will never get what is desired.. so what should I do?

Ok.. I guess I have no other choice.. what done is done.. I cannot turn back time and tell them to give me one more chance to undo what had been done.. what I can do is to do some damage control.. I guess I should be glad that I still have a second chance to "repair the situation".. if only there's a second chance on everything on life right? there might be less tears and we might be living in a better world.. I need to appreciate the second chance given.. and strive for the best!! time is running out.. and if i continue to stay emo and pondering around on what had happened.. I'll missed out even more.. so.. let's work really hard on what a better tommorow !! I can't change what had happened..but I stand a chance on changing on what that can and might happen!!

猜不透 ..Trying hard to figure out..

Ya.. I realised I love to listen to such song.. especially when I'm emo.. the funny thing is.. heh.. when you are down you might wanna find ways and means to avoid the deep feeling of your.. me on the other hand, wel.. I have to admit this. .when I'm sad.. I will tend to feel like wanna watch some funny movie.. thn maybe listen to this kinda songs.. why I do such torture? I dunno.. I somehow believe that.. when you are sad or even emo til a certain point that you can no longer feel anything.. you'll feel so numb that you feel nothing.. thn maybe you will start to recover.. I remembered I once had a bad experience.. and there was this CD that wil remind me of that.. to my surprised.. that I somehow on the same CD over and over for days, weeks and even months.. til one point of time.. I realised.. i'm finally over it.. it no longer have any effect on me.. funny way of dealing wit stuff.. ya.. i noe.. as compared with those that chose to avoid.. delete or even erase those memories.. or even people of their list that somehow gave them those memory.. I choose to keep them.. face them.. and deal with it..

ok ok.. I know I'm totally out of this topic.. today's topic.. is about tis song.. oh my.. I can't stand listen to song.. you know the feeling.. when you have such hope for some people.. but you are being treat .. with .. emmm.. " hot and cold"? You will be wondering.. wat you are to this someone.. wat have you did.. you wish to understand this someone so much.. but the more you know.. you will start to realise the least you know of this someone? I like tis song.. but not the MV to be frank..
To be frank, I actually hate silence treatment.. when I did something that makes you unhappy.. please do.., by all means, tell me straight to my face.. ok ok.. maybe not to my face.. but you really have to tell me.. don't keep it to yourself and bare with it.. I understand how it feel to bare things.. without telling it out loud.. I know how it feels to try your very best to deal with all the emotion silently.. wearing a mask to face everyone around.. hence, I won wan you to go through all these because of me.. If you don't understand me, do ask any questions .. I will try my best to answer..because I strongly believe that if you wan things to wrk out.. keeping it to yourself will not be the way.. I see friends, couples, and even husband & wife that assumed the other party will not understand things.. and hence keep things and feeling to themselves.. I have a question for you.. keeping things to yourself.. will make things better? are you 100% sure things won work out if you tell the truth? maybe things will not work out as plan.. but without telling it out.. thing will definitely not wrk out.. right? like wat my lecturer used to say.. ASSUME = ASS + U + ME ( Ass you and me ).. so.. never assume.. be sure of things.. I used to assume things.. I used to think that I should never tell my feeling out loud.. because this will show how weak I'm .. I should always uphold my imagine of being this strong, cold- blooded gal.. someone that no one can break through.. and see how timid, weak I'm.. but I realised.. maybe it's time for me to be myself.. maybe.. it is time for others to know how I feel? I wish to be understood.. in the same time, I wish to understand how others feel.. but the more I wish to do so.. the further apart I'm from the initial point.. I guess I've failed miserably..

Let's see.. wat's the last solution I have? Wish upon the star.. even though i Know well that.. it's jz another wish that will not come true.. .. is tis wat's called as life? I wonder..

丁噹 - 猜不透



P.S : I hope you will like this song!!

How well can you sing?!

Singing.. emmm.. well.. i know it's shameful to say that.. wel.. I've been staying in KL for.. emmm.. about 2 years + but o.. hahaha.. I've never been to RED BOX nor NEWWAY.. but at least.. I've been to Dreambox (in Melaka).. Heh.. I can sing well ok?!..or should i say i used to sing wel? hahaha.. well.. i used to represent Melaka in a choir competition as one out of.. emmm.. 25? or izit more? I can't recall d.. because o.. it's almost 10 years ago d lo.. :P

Anyway, my topic for the day got nothing to do with how well I can sing.. but rather.. emmm.. how well can THEY sing?! Who are they? emmm.. those that i have no idea of.. but.. my goodness.. I'm sure that anyone of you that read my blog can definately sing so much better thn them!!!! I was at Sg Buloh painting walls (serious not fun at all).. and I guess some neighbour is having wedding ceremony (Malay style) and so there are loud speakers with surrounds.. and maybe a stage with a mic.. The whole everning.. my goodnes.. it's a huge torture!! It was a hot sunday afternoon in a house with minimum fan.. no radio.. no wifi.. tortured enough d.. and I have to let myself being exposed with sound polution.. heh.. I'm not being mean.. I know they are enjoying.. but heh.. come on la.. u are having ur day singging on stage.. but don la make everyone down the stage suffer.. Half way while he (& she) singging.. they actually reminded me of a thing I saw whn I shopped at Sunway and also at Jonker Street in Melaka. you know.. the type of rubber chicken??

Still have no idea? nvm.. I got a photo to share with u..

ok.. some of you have no idea how it sounded like? Well.. let me tell u.. some of them actually sang like the vidoe I'm about to post k? Don get angry with me after you heard it k? I had to stand with their singing for 3-4 hours today ok?!.. and some of them really sang like tis..



Super annoying right?? Told you so.. but to some degree.. I guess I have to solute them.. to have the courage to stand on the stage and sing with this kinda voice right?? hahaha..

Another sad thing happened today.. my heels spoilt.. my cousin actually wore my heels without asking for my permission.. I mean it's not that I banned others from using my stuff.. but.. she got her own shoes.. y she had to wear mine.. and actaully spoilt it?! I bought it with my own money.. money that i earned.. and all these.. she didn't even say a sorry.. she jz put it bck and pretend as if nothing had happened.. BTW.. she's twice my size.. so.. let's guess why the heels broke?? hahaha..

Another Xmas,,

I should have see this coming.. but I've been way too ignorance to realise.. after all that I've been through.. this is wat i get.. rethink is a hard word.. but since it had been said.. I guess.. it is time for me to rethink too..

Like any other Xmas.. this time.. there won't be anything special for me.. I thought things won't go this far.. but it had.. All that i want, is the truth.. is to understand what had happened.. but it's wat i failed to get.. and you can continue to blame everything on me.. because.. to you.. it's wat that i deserved... but you have not asked why this happened.. you have not asked how can you do to make it up or at least.. wat caused all these to happened?.. all that you cared.. is wat you can do.. to make you feel better.ya.. i know.. all these while.. i've tried to avoid all the questions that might make u feel bad.. because i noe.. in the end, you will turn around and somehow..made me feel sad.. so.. my bad for not trying hard enough to ask all these "sensitive" issues.. and u never seems to wanna let me noe..

If I could compared, I'm having the same feeling as last year..wat's that's more is.. i need to be strong to keep my promise regarding of wat.. wat's that's less is.. nothing is less.. but i know i should lessen the care i have.. to minimize the pain i'm experiencing..

I don't mind to be alone on festive season.. bec it's wat that i've experience all these while.. so.. wat's the big deal? what that I've realised is.. my tears worth nothing.. all the pain that i've been through to be in tis stage.. doesn't count.. you will see no tears.. because I need my mask to be who I used to be.. you can hide to lick your wound.. but i still have to face the world that expect me to do so.. i can't possibly shut myself down..because there are ppl waiting for me.. I still need to face the future.. regardless of the past. But, i never know that.. you have let the past effect us tis much.. it's good that i've finaly see all these.. and i know that if it's not handled wel.. it will be the beginning of the end.. i never wish to see this comin.. but since you have bring tis up.. let's see how far can i go.. xams.. is all about togetherness.. happiness.. and forgiving.. but the spirits are way too far from me.. but i will make it through.. hopefully..

Bad day..

Ya.. it seems like I've not been having good day for sometime.. I wondered what went wrong.. did i expect too much? or i'll just hav to go through to it silently to see what it'll bring me to?

Imagine yourself having tones of work to do.. with the dateline of assignment getting nearer.. and you are still half way through everything.. stress is the only word to be described.. yet, you know you can never shut yourself from the world just to complete everything.. but to some extend.. I choose to go on with my life.. and face all the stress and feeling on my own.. and tat's whn the problems arises.. I'm stress.. yes.. where can i release my stress on? I can't simply scold ppl right? yet i have to tried to settle problems arises around me.. how far can i proceed from there? I have no idea.. remain status quo is the only option I can't go for.. tat's for sure.. but adding on to my stress.. tat's not i'm looking for too.. to some extend, I wish to shut myself from the world.. just me and myself.. maybe by thn i can ignore everything else other thn myself.. maybe i just need some rest.. maybe i'm way too tired to face things.. there are too many maybe.. but will any of the maybe.. help me out here?