Another Xmas,,

I should have see this coming.. but I've been way too ignorance to realise.. after all that I've been through.. this is wat i get.. rethink is a hard word.. but since it had been said.. I guess.. it is time for me to rethink too..

Like any other Xmas.. this time.. there won't be anything special for me.. I thought things won't go this far.. but it had.. All that i want, is the truth.. is to understand what had happened.. but it's wat i failed to get.. and you can continue to blame everything on me.. because.. to you.. it's wat that i deserved... but you have not asked why this happened.. you have not asked how can you do to make it up or at least.. wat caused all these to happened?.. all that you cared.. is wat you can do.. to make you feel better.ya.. i know.. all these while.. i've tried to avoid all the questions that might make u feel bad.. because i noe.. in the end, you will turn around and somehow..made me feel sad.. so.. my bad for not trying hard enough to ask all these "sensitive" issues.. and u never seems to wanna let me noe..

If I could compared, I'm having the same feeling as last year..wat's that's more is.. i need to be strong to keep my promise regarding of wat.. wat's that's less is.. nothing is less.. but i know i should lessen the care i have.. to minimize the pain i'm experiencing..

I don't mind to be alone on festive season.. bec it's wat that i've experience all these while.. so.. wat's the big deal? what that I've realised is.. my tears worth nothing.. all the pain that i've been through to be in tis stage.. doesn't count.. you will see no tears.. because I need my mask to be who I used to be.. you can hide to lick your wound.. but i still have to face the world that expect me to do so.. i can't possibly shut myself down..because there are ppl waiting for me.. I still need to face the future.. regardless of the past. But, i never know that.. you have let the past effect us tis much.. it's good that i've finaly see all these.. and i know that if it's not handled wel.. it will be the beginning of the end.. i never wish to see this comin.. but since you have bring tis up.. let's see how far can i go.. xams.. is all about togetherness.. happiness.. and forgiving.. but the spirits are way too far from me.. but i will make it through.. hopefully..