After a long long hold back.. I am back.. hold back of what? Well.. I am pretty sure no one will be interested in my personal life.. since it is another boring story..
Suicide.. ya.. this somehow has become a "hot topic" in the newspapers as it kept on appearing as one of the headlines.. I can't help it but wonder.. why?? I am sure you feel lost.. sad.. like there is nothing else to live for.. and hence.. the next move will be.. to end your life.. once and for all.. To be frank, such thing does flash through my mind before.. but, I in the same time, I start to question myself.. if I were to go just like that.. one day, if someone were to think of me.. the only thing that they will recall is.. "this poor girl.. had a bad day.. thn die..".. and basically.. tat's all.. which are all negative.. I don't want my life ends just like tat.. If I were to die.. one day, I want ppl to recal me as.. " this gal is a great asset.. it is a huge lost to let go of her.. but it is not her call.. we surely miss her very very dearly.. " Idf I were to leave this world at my darkest moment, people will only remember you at the life prior to ur death right? Maybe I am not entirely correct.. But one thing I am certain of.. I do not have the courage to die just like tat.. do you know how much it takes to commit suicide? Well..you try taking a knife and poke it to your heart.. No.. I do not mean the "poke" button available in the Facebook.. I mean the realy poke where by you will see blood and everything.. can you do it? Maybe you can.. but I surely don't have the courage to do such thing..
I kept wondering.. when one decide to commit suicide.. do they think of their loved ones, by saying the loved ones I meant your parents.. your friends.. the one that you cared and cared of you? If you were to think of them, do you really have the courage to continue? Jumping down from 18 floors does not sound cool at all.. in fact, it is as scary as sitting on a celero shoot.. Before jumping down.. since you feel like you do not have any life anymore.. I believe money to you will mean nothing too right? Why don't you spent some of them.. go to genting.. and sit Celero shoot for .. let's say.. 5 times? this you can redo again and again.. and "experience" the feel of jumping down.. and you can treat it as suicide and "refresh" your mind all over again.. throw the feeling of suicide... and take a little bit more courage and continue your life.. wouldn't that sounds like a better plan?
Live your life FOR yourself.. and not for others.. this is what I usually heard.. somehow.. I am trying to do that as well.. we are bounded by feeling.. and there are times we are happy.. and there are down as well.. life is a cycle.. it is when we experienced the darkest moment that we will become stronger.. and when it goes by, we will know that it is not the end of world.. and we have went through the darkest that we will appreciate things that are around us..
I strongly believe that, there are choices in life.. and each choice taken.. will have an opportunity cost. However, this is life.. and life itself is a gamble.. at times, we might feel lost.. but it is not the end of the world.. it is just a consequences that we have to bare with every step taken. If there is no risks attached to it, I would say, it is not life at all.. some risks are worth taking.. some risks.. once taken.. cannot be undo.. After all, we are not superman, we will still get hurt.. bleed.. but trust me.. it is not the end of the world.. please don't take away life so easily..
This reminded me of a song, Superman can't fly by Jay Chow..I hope you will like it..