This is a question directed to myself.. after a nervous breakdown.. I thought.. I will never experience this ever again.. but the truth is, I actually foresee that I will be expecting this again.. how long more will I go through all these? That is a question.. yet to be answered.. it depends on.. when I will realised.. where am I.. what a question right? Well, have you ever experienced this.. you know where you are.. physically.. but when you are way too devoted into something.. that, at that point of time, you are certain this will be giving future value.. way too devoted that, you lost yourself half way through.. without realising it..and one day, when you are awoken from that wonderful dream of yours.. you realised, you are in a place, where you can no longer see your own reflection.. are you alive? or.. and the 1st question that pops up.. "Where the hell am I?" ..
"Where are you".. this is one question I asked.. when I look into the mirror.. I guess it is the tears that have awoken me.. Yes.. I am not a practical person.. and yes.. I am a highly insecure gal.. this is because.. I have devoted a lot that I am not willing to let go? But, I am losing my grip..
I can't help it but wonder.. is it a sign of tiredness? I can't help it but wonder.. does anyone know what I have been through? How hard it is to come this far? Can you even imagine this? But who am I to judge right? I can never out spoke anyone.. Bare truth, I do not feel like saying a single shit.. because I don think words will worth much.. but I know well that it will certainly bring a lot of damage.. just like how much it had hurt me.. I say nothing does not mean I feel nothing.. some people will feel their power when others agree with what they thought is correct.. but, please do step back and reflect it.. because.. you will never know the truth.. if you continue to think it that way..
Well, the statement above.. you have been through too? Well, at some point of time.. I believe we will go through.. just a matter of time.. I have to say.. THANK YOU for those who are there when I am experiencing my nervous breakdown.. thank you for not forcing me .. and allow me to be myself.. I know I care for others more than I care for myself.. so much so that ... I thought I have lost my own feelings.. so much so that I have ignore my own needs.. and catering it for the happiness of others.. ya.. it is time to wake up.. and look for myself..
This is one song that I love so so much.. I prefer the cd version.. I will attached the lyrics here..
只要能笑一笑 抱着你 感到安慰
每当你看着我 一个谎 说得甜美
只要能笑一笑 抱着你 感到安慰
每当你看着我 一个谎 说得抱歉
就算我笑一笑 得不到 你的安慰
我不要背着你 说那些 坏的预言
电话那头你说 你是 爱我的