From old blog : IF

Came across this yesterday.. and I realised.. I was really kind of an emo gal bck thn.. always keep things on my own.. refusing to let anyone enter my world.. with the fear that once a world is build with them around.. if they ever leave, my world will collapse.. so, I shielded myself.. with a mask so that all those negative feelings will not be identified..

May 23rd, 2008

If heart is
meant to be broken, then, so far, how many hearts have I broken?? Or I should
rephrase my sentence, how many times have I break my heart?

If the
furthest distance is you not knowing I love you despite me standing just in
front of you, then what’s the nearest distance?

If you feel
sad when tears is all over your face, tell me how to describe when you hold
your tears and letting it drip only in your heart?

If smile is
the way to “deliver” happy, it’s there any specific definition for “happy”?

If the
nearest distance is when I look into your eyes, then, how far is the distance
if I failed to see “me” in your eyes?

If “lonely”
is the word to describe when you are all alone, then how do you describe when you are feeling all alone when you are hanging
a group of people?

If just
when I try to build my world with you around, will I start to get hurt too??

If a world is build wit you around, how long can
it hold??

If it is
hard to trust for the only unchangeable is change itself, then, when will you
start to change if I’ve start to trust you ?

If there is no more lies,

No lies will be needed to cover the first lie
and that you will not loss your faith in trusting people..
and you will not have to wonder which is the truth from all the lies..

If and only if...