陈洁仪 -家 (HOME)

There is no place like home.. this is what i really felt when I'm far away from home.. I don't know of others.. but I think.. home is a place where all of us are looking for no matter where you are.. how you look like.. where are are heading too.

Some people find home at their working place.. a place where people "recognized" them.. agreed with them for who they are.. and that's why they love working so so much.. some people find home at church.. where they want others to join their "big family" .. where they find themselves, find their confidence to continue with life..Some people find home when they are with someone.. and intended to build a family with that someone.. because they make them someone special, comfortable.. make them feel stronger and have the courage and strength to walk further..I find my home.. deep in my heart.. a place where I'm very much comfortable to be at.. a place where I will miss so so much when I'm apart from it.. and a place where I will be welcome back all the time.. with a warm hug.. and huge smile.. and a saying of "Welcome home my dear"

My home is somewhere that I belong.. somewhere that will accept me for who I'm, love me for who I'm.. and a place that will always welcome me back regardless of what.. a shelter that i can rely on.. this is my home or at least.. the home I idealized ..
Question of the day : Where is your home ??

Michael Jackson - You Are Not Alone

"... You are not alone.. I'm here with you.. "Yes, you arre never alone.. unless you want to be alone.. I actually love this MJ's song.. he was so alone when he was alive.. he is rich.. and yet alone. because he will never know who is real for him.. except for kids that will not lie unless they are told to..

Ya.. I remembered I said I was alone.. maybe because at some point of life.. I actually hope that when I'm alone.. or at least.. lonely.. without being told.. people will know.. and will be there for me.. I guess I was bit too naive to think so.. who will be there for me when they were not told to do so.. and even if they are told to do so.. how far will they be there for me? This is another reason.. why i love dogs so much.. no matter what.. when i need a hug.. just by calling them.. they will come to me.. accompany me.. and let me hug.. still.. I know.. I'm not alone.. and neither are you.. You are not alone in this world too.. I'm here for you.. if you want me to do so.. This song.. is dedicated to all MJ's fans..for MJ.. and also all of u guys.. YOU ARE NOT ALONE..

亲爱的你在哪里 - 袁耀发

This song is dedicated to those that are far away from me now.. although I might not say out loud, but I do miss you.. and my friends, even when we might not be far apart, I somehow will still miss the moment when we hang out together.. I know, this is a sad song.. but a really nice song too.. From what I know, this used to be a song in a series.. but I can't really recall what series it is.. sorry la guys, I know I have bad memory.. please do forgive me k.. but all in one.. this is still no doubt a nice song..

This is song "My dear you, where are you " is officially dedicated to you all.. hope you all will like it..

St. David Carnival !!

Yes.. for those who have my Facebook.. you guys must have know that I'm kind of excited to go for the carnival.. since it was my old school carnival.. must at least show some support.. and you guys.. actually are lucky enough that I have taken tones of photos.. and I will share some of it with you guys..

I actually enjoyed alot there.. really.. looking at those "small kids" ( no.. i'm not really that old.. but.. i guess i'm no longer a kid no more).. they are working really hard to make their stall look good.. and tried their best to promote their food.. I should at least support my junior right? and to my surprised, I never thought that to sell their foods and drinks.. they actually brave enough to call every guys that pass by them "leng cai" and those girls "leng lui"..and one of my fren fall for it.. BRAVO!!

I have a young sister that is still studying in St David .. and have been working equally hard to sell the staff at her stall.. and I actually able to drag her out to take a photo with her.

I managed to drag my friends to take photos with me too..and not forgetting my teacher
Haw (Most left), Phang, Me, Mary, Min.. and the second photo with an extra person, my ex teacher, Mrs. Yap..

We managed to go to our old class.. 5Sc1 and the memories just flash back.. I miss the old time kinda badly.. why times flies so fast.. and Phang will be going off to Tasmania in few hours time.. Who is Phang.. he is the one with the fully look in most of the photos.. We will definitely miss him very much.. at least.. I will miss him.. he has been a great great fren all these while.. I really hope we will still keep in touch..

The last photos.. I will present.. what the carnival looks like.. from the top building..


I really did enjoyed the carnival..because you guys.. my friends are there.. and I managed to meet up with you guys.. at the place where most of our memory placed.. and I really hope you guys enjoyed equally too..

梁靜茹 - Part 2

Nice songs..no no . .I love this 2 songs very very much.. you guys just have to listen to this 2 songs..

The first song of Fish Leong, "Accept", is a really nice song.. when you broke up with someone, no matter what is the reasons, you will have to accept the truth, face it.. even though it might not be a wise decision to do so.. but what done is done, not the time to blame who is right from wrong.. but if that will make you feel better.. I got no saying.. but this is a nice song.. She sang this song after she broke up with her Ex.. and.. I can feel what she is going through.. sad.. but trying hard to be strong. .

梁靜茹 - 接受



Another sad song of hers, " Too Bad it's you" . At times, at some point of life, when something is done you will somehow hope that it is done by someone else.. even though you know it well that this someone is no longer right beside you. This is a nice song.. I dedicate all these songs to you guys.. hope you will like them..

梁靜茹 - 可惜不是你

梁靜茹 - Part 1

Today, after so long I have been trying to avoid listening to all those "emo" songs, my sister opened it.. and I have been listening to it all night all.. and eventually, I get emo too.. this few songs, I know is some songs Fish Leong sang ages ago.. but still this is some nice songs..

This first song, "for my good" is a song she sang to remind us, sometimes, you should look at a bigger picture.. what you see might not be what is real.. at times when you care for some minor things in life.. you might eventually lost something valuable to you..
"單純的戀愛,不是長大的才會懂..一句為我好,是好是壞..真的要到未來才知道! "

梁靜茹《為我好》完整版


This second song, "The Third Party". Yes, I know many of you will blamed the third party.. will curse her/him, and might even feel like killing them.. but, did you ever think that the problem might exists even before they existed ? and she might just be the "catalyst" of the process? maybe you should thank them for making you , force you to look closer to the problem.. and eventually realised that the person of your dream might not be THE ONE.. and let go before you step further into the "quick sand"? listen to her song.. and hear what she wanna tell ..

梁靜茹 - 第三者

Long Distance Relationship

Yes.. this is a typical topic that will be discuss abroad.. but seriously, how many of us been through it and actually survive it?

Imagine you are having this someone that you can barely see daily.. and when actually need someone by your side.. to pamper you.. to give you a hug and say "things will be just fine".. you can only feel the thin cold air blowing on you.. seems pathetic? If you have been through it.. you will know how true it is.. you know this someone is there for you.. but you also will know this someone will not always be physically there for you.. you can only feel the existences through words, voice, and maybe image ( from 3G phone or web cam ). At times, when you didn't hear from this someone, you will get worried, and when you failed to keep in touch.. you will feel helpless..and negative thoughts will get all over your head.. and makes you even more worried but you have no other choice but to wait... When you are in the night market, super market and even in a public places, you will see couples holding hands and you somehow will miss this someone all over again. and at times, you will start to question and wonder what you are holding on.. because it seems vague..when you look close enough only you will see it exist all these while.. just that.. maybe you are drifting apart.. you start to want more than what you have been offered.. you start to want what "normal couples" have.. and have forgotten what "normal couple" don't have.

Yes, normal couples have each other most of the time. In a long distance relationship, couples will have more freedom.. or to be more precise time to feel "alone"? The truth is, when you are single, you will somehow hope for a shoulder you can rely on.. and when you finally have one.. you will want something more.. you will hope for that someone to pamper you.. to the extend that you actually hope that when you are hungry in the middle of the night.. this someone will actually come all the way to cook a meal for you.. right?

Well, someone told me this awhile ago, as a girl, we have to try not to build our world with a guy alone in our world.. we have to have our own world.. and not having him as our only world.. because the bare truth is, we will not possibly be his only world.. and when he has no time for us, and we are left all alone, what will you do? you will start to complain him for ignoring you.. for not even have time for you.. and you will feel emo.. and end up.. ruin the relationship.. but guys out there, don't ever blame your girl if they have no time for you.. and insist on asking them to give their time for you.. because before you even think of doing so, please ask yourself this question, have you ever do that for her ?

Being in a long distance relationship, is to question the fundamental element of a relationship- do you have faith in this someone? do you trust this someone well enough? - do you have faith in yourself? I never believe in lies.. because one lies will lead to another and another and another.. and eventually, I will start to question the truth from all the lies.. and you actually expect me to believe you after all these? Will you yourself believe in yourself too ?! Although trust is an important element, come on, the wording you use is equally important.. Imagine you asking that someone to marry a dog when that someone questioned about marriage.. this is a sign of disrespect for both of you.. and you expect this relationship to work ? I mean .. come on.. it might not even work in a normal relationship what more a long distance relationship when a single small issue can become a huge issue?

For those who had make a long distance relationship work until this far.. congratulation!! I know you guys have been working really hard to walk this far.. For those that have yet to go through.. I will advise you not to.. but if things happen.. be strong, be frank, trust and respect each other.. and hopefully both party will work hard enough to make things through..

You guys out there, what do you think of long distance relationship.. do you agree with me? or maybe disagree? and why?

林俊杰 - 我还想她 & 简简单单

I used to love all JJ's songs.. with every new album.. he definitely have a song that will surprised me and somehow made me fall in love with the song.. these are just 2 songs that touched me.. sad songs actually..

the first song " I still miss her" has a part where the lyrics goes " please don't tell her I still miss her... Please tell her I don't love her .." shows that he is very much in love with the gal.. but he can no longer love her and have to let her go with the hope that she will let him go and move on with her life. You still don't really get what I mean right? watch the MV and you will have a clear view of what I mean.. if you want the MV or even the song.. just let me know..

林俊傑 - 我還想她


This second song, "Simple" , is another nice but sad song.. it actually sang out the song of broken heated.. i mean.. when you are so much in love with someone.. and eventually have to break up.. this song will sing out your feeling..

林俊傑－簡簡單單

Taylor Swift - Love Story & Tear Drops on My Guitar

I have decided to share 2 MV with you guys because I kind of like this 2 songs alot.. she is a really talented singer.. and a very pretty one too.. I hope you guys will like it.. The first MV is a really sweet MV... at least I think so.. and for the 2nd MV.. sad.. it is more like a gal tat is never being notice by the guy of her dream even when she is right beside him.. this remind me of a phrase " The furthest distance apart happens when I'm right beside you and you never notice I love you "
(世上最遥远的距离是我就在你身边而你不晓得我爱你） Let's just pray hard that this will never happen to you.. because this is painful.. really really painful..

Taylor Swift - Love Story





Taylor Swift - Tear Drops on My Guitar

Income Tax Dateline...

Yesterday the whole afternoon I was helping my dad with his Income Tax Borang B thingy.. I never know it can take me whole day.. I start from around 3pm.. thinking that it will take the most 3 hours.. but turn out.. I do until around 1am in the morning..

Haha.. that is the problem when you are over confident .. I admit.. I thought that I have learn tax d and so it should not be that difficult.. but the truth is, UK tax system is not really the same as Malaysia's Tax system.. After I have completed it.. I actually realized that, we Malaysian should be really glad that we are tax so little as compared to UK.. UK the lower personal tax rate is 10% follow by 32.5% but Malaysia.. 1% follow by 3%.. and we Malaysian still say it is "high"? hahaha..yes.. the tax payable amount is very much little as compared to UK.. but the major different is, as UK or even Australia's citizen, you will be able to enjoy all kind of infrastructure.. just take the most common of all, public transport.. I remembered my sister told me, the bus will come at the interval of.. 10 min? but in Malaysia... hahaha.. it will take at least 1 hour (public transport like bus)..depending on the area.. I used to wait for almost 2 hours for a bus..I actually feel like walking back at the end of the day.. that's another reason why I choose to stay at home when I'm in KL.. because I don't have my own transport and have to depend on public transport.. (haha.. I know I'm lazy)

But, the truth is, can you really be sure that , when you pay a higher rate, you will get the "benefit" from it or in other words,with the increase in your tax payable amount, do you think it will worth the money you are paying? ---^.^ v

Father's Day

Yes.. yesterday was the official Father's Day.. and my brother actually come back all the way from Klang because of this.. and someone actually treat my dad because of this.. hahaha.. meaning.. I also have the chance to join in and enjoy the meal!! Hoo RAy !!

Well, unlike in KL, Melaka don't really have alot of "high class places" or cafe that we can choose.. but there is one new (not really new but only came into Melaka's picture in less than a year time) named Island Red Cafe which is placed in Bukit Beruang and Dataran Pahlawan. Well, I know this cafe actually have a "member card" which cost RM 300 that will allow you to credit from that amount everytime you spent in the cafe and when you "top up" , you will be entitled to earn some amount.. and if you are able to get someone to join the "family" you will be able to earn some amount too.. and so I've heard..Well, I have managed to get some nice photos of the dishes and drinks we have there..


The photo on the left is what I have ordered.. since I have been having sore throat lately.. but it does taste on.. the photo on the left.. is Ice Blended Mocha and their famous Island Red Coffee.. The Ice Blended Mocha does taste nice ..and it cost RM 5.4 if i'm not mistaken .. This 2 cups actually taste nice.. I especially like their Island Red Coffee..it cost Rm 2++ but it really taste nice.. I mean.. I like it a lot.. and I know not all will like it.. but I like it..

The photo on the left.. is.. seafood spaghetti that my sister ordered..Well, I won't say it taste bad.. but.. it taste just normal and ok .. and my friend, the one on the right, is what I've ordered.. Maryland Chicken Chop with tar tar source.. I actually like it a lot.. although it cost Rm 10++.. but I actually ate until very full.. I can't really finish all and have to ask my sister to finish it for me.. hahaha.. Below are the photos right before my sister and I start our meal..

My sister is the one on the left ..even with a "V" doesn't mean you win me ok ?! my meal is still better than yours.. Hahaha!! and so, picture speaks louder than words.. I was hungry and wanted to start my meal right before I took this photo.. hahaha.. and with the meal.. I can actually update my blog without any breakfast.. until now.. ok.. those dishes make me hungry.. I guess I need to go and have my lunch d..

All in one, IRC is actually a nice place.. at least I think it worth the money as compared to some cafe in Melaka. But, this is highly subjective.. so.. lawyers out there.. don't sue me k ! because this is only my humble opinion.. " ^.^v "

Celebration of YY and Yian Sin 's birthday

The greatest gift of all.. is not really the cost that matter the most.. but the memory and the laughter..

I had the best gift this year.. I actually had the chance to go sing K.. happy ! Well, I know I'm not the main core for the day.. but.. I really do enjoy alot when we were at DreamBox.. Well, I know well I'm not a good singer.. but I realised, I actually have lots of fren that can sing well.. but how come you guys hardly sing or maybe how come I've been so deaf all these long? But, I guess, I'm not too late to realised this truth right?

Well, this farewell for Yuen Yi together with my birthday and his birthday celebration will definitely be one of the moment I missed the most when you are away in Aus..Well, I never know you can sing this well.. and you know what.. you should be really glad that you have a bunch of good friends.. because Gah Hung actually come all the way from Singapore for you.. and so does Yong Chin and Soon Kong.. but the truth is, you are worth the journey, you have been a great friend all these while..and I'm sure you will continue to be so.. we will really miss you here in Malaysia..

Below is one of those photo that I wanna share with you.. I don't really remember what song it is.. but.. what i'm sure is.. well.. the photo will speaks for itself.. if you are in the photo..you will know who it is.. and this will definitely be the moment you miss.. hahaha..
Duet.. Yuen Yi and Mary.. singing what song a? I can hardly recall...
and I also duet with Yuen Yi le.. just that.. Yuen Yi chosen a really high key song.. I'm sorry if I polluted the sound for that moment.. Below is the nice song that I duet with YY.. sang by the original singer.. a really nice song..

Well, I realized, when you are singing K, it is not a singing competition.. why do you care so much of what others think of your voice? as long as you enjoy urself there.. that is good enough d right? I had a good time laughing there.. because my friends, you guys are really funny.. it had been ages since I laugh so much.. and this is the best gift of all.. that I can possibly ask from you guys..

So guys, when will the next "K" section be? Will you count me in ?

叶子 - 阿桑

This is a really touching MV which I think is one of those Taiwanese series.. but I got to know this song from this singer that had passed away not long ago.. she is a really talented singer.. most of her songs can really touched your heart.. The first time I heard this song.. I've fall in love with this song.. and the first time I saw this MV.. I almost cried.. this song.. I dedicate to you guys.. hope you guys will like it too.. A MV with the title " Leaf"



Lyrics:
叶子
演唱：阿桑
专辑：《受了点伤》

叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
天堂 原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔

孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴

我一个人吃饭 旅行
到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信
自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

我一个人吃饭 旅行
到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信
自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴

我一个人吃饭 旅行
到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信
自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

我一个人吃饭 旅行
到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信
自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子

Birthday..

Yes.. today is my birthday.. my 22nd birthday.. yet.. it is just another normal day for me.. don't actually have any celebration.. in fact, I don't really think my family member remember it.. or just for a moment.. they remember thn after that.. it is put behind their mind..Well, it is just another normal day.. so..

But the sad part is, I'm actually not feeling very well.. with the flu and sore throat.. caused me to feel dizzy the whole day... thought of wanting to watch movie alone.. but.. with the current condition.. I don't think I can do so..

Birthday, to most people, it is a huge issue and need to be celebrated as glamor as possible.. but well.. if I'm categorized as this batch of people.. I will feel like dieing d.. my wish is.. as long as it is being remembered.. and I get wishes from people that care for me.. I will be happy enough.. remember not because they have to remember.. but because they want to remember.. Gift? no other gift is more precious than a gift from the heart.. a song or a wish right from the bottom of your heart.. that is the most precious gift of all that I can possible get..

This year, I did not get any cake.. bit sad.. but well.. I got lots more wishes from my friends.. which cheered me up alot ! All these while, my friends from Melaka will celebrate my birthday together with my another friend.. but this friend is going abroad.. and I will definitely miss him alot.. I wonder.. will he miss us here in Malaysia while he studying in Aus? Will tis be the last birthday celebration together with him as he will studying abroad? or there are many more in the coming years?

Sick...

Sad to say.. at this kinda time, I'm sick d.. headache + flu+ sore throat.. and still I can update my blog.. well, I might not be able to update my blog for few days.. so.. please do forgive me.. but I will get bck to you guys once I'm feeling better k ?

可不可以爱我- 卢学睿

Yes, the weird part is.. I actually like sad songs more than other songs.. this is another nice song.. but.. very sad song actually.. but how many of you guys will ask someone to love you? you can try your best to earn someone's love.. but ultimately.. it is up to the person to love you or not? or maybe it is up to the condition to decide whether loving you is the most appropriate decision? This is a song named " Can you love me?"




The lyrics :

为什麽如此的安静
为什麽明明想靠近 却还在迟疑
努力的我保持镇定 努力开拓话题
最後却溃不成军

为什麽如此的美丽
深刻的烙在心里 最温柔的酷刑
每一天无法不想你
连闭上眼睛 怎麽都是你

你可不可以爱我 可不可以想我
虽然我对自己没有一点的把握
别害怕我难过
告诉我你真实的感受
至少忐忑能告一段落

你可不可以爱我 可不可以看我
反正看或不看 我依然失魂落魄
成全不是美德 拒绝也不是一种罪过
你能给我 快乐还是寂寞


为什麽如此的美丽
深刻的烙在心里 最温柔的酷刑
每一天无法不想你
连闭上眼睛 怎麽都是你

你可不可以爱我 可不可以想我
虽然我对自己没有一点的把握
别害怕我难过 告诉我你真实的感受
至少忐忑能告一段落

你可不可以爱我 可不可以看我
反正看或不看 我依然失魂落魄
成全不是美德 拒绝也不是一种罪过
你能给我 快乐还是寂寞

想念燃烧个不停
我快只剩灰烬
你是我的呼吸

你可不可以爱我 可不可以想我
虽然我对自己没有一点的把握
别害怕我难过 告诉我你真实的感受
至少忐忑能告一段落

你可不可以爱我 可不可以看我
我依然失魂落魄
成全不是美德 拒绝也不是一种罪过
你能给我 能给我什麽
快乐还是寂寞

我听见有人叫你宝贝 - 林健辉

The worst part in a relationship is when you heard someone called the person you are in love with "dear or darling.. " this is a song named " I heard someone called you dear"

So, who says more expensive is alway better?

I never know that I will see this with my own eyes.. but I guess after what I saw today.. I doubt I will go to this place ever again..

I have heard from my friends that some Kenny R. are not really that clean.. and I thought well.. it might not be that true.. Now, I know that .. I should not have doubt them.. I'm sorry for doubting you guys.. Today is the first time i have my meal in K.R and I actually think that this will be the last time!

When the dishes came.. it seems delicious.. and when I ate half way through.. I saw something black on my plate and when I have a closer look.. OH my goodness .. it is a FLY!! A dead fly "floating" on my dishes.. and I have eaten part of the food.. I can possibly vomit all of them out right? when I approach the waitress and show her.. her reaction.. was not really in shock.. it's more like a fake act to "satisfy" me? I dunno.. but what she did was.. to change the whole food in my plate with a "brand new" one.. just that.. do you think I have the appetite to continue? but, I will still have to pay for it right? so, I quickly finish it.. and actually pray hard that I will not get food poisoning..

First time, and this is the experience.. do you possibly think I will be K.R.'s loyal customer? hahaha.. Well, when you experience something bad.. especially when it is the first time you try to attempt something.. and things end up bad.. no matter how much time pass by, the shadow will still remain there, the only different, do you want to let a shadow hold you back for attempting to create a brand new experience or you prefer that to be your first and last experience?

Don't Judge the book by its cover !!

Today is actually the first time ever I meet up with my Mlk fren in KL.. althought it is a short "outing" but we met something "extraordinary".. I never know I will meet such incident.

We "scheduled" to meet up at one of the Mc D opposite Kota Raya. I was late and thanks for waiting and being understanding.. Well, this is not the main story. We saw an old guy (which should be around 60+ or more than 60) wearing a formal attire.He looks smart.. without his tie.. but the next move and the following move shocked me.. He was waiting for the customers to go off and he actually "collect" all the foods and drinks left over. I repeat again k .. He COLLECT all the LEFT OVERS!! He basically took the drinks and pow them into his drinks.. and all the french fries..I have no idea a formal attire old guy will do such thing.. His shorts is clean and so I assume he has a family that will clean his shirt and attire.. but does he need to do such thing? My.. at some point, I actually feel like giving him my french fries.. but.. second thought, this will definitely won't stop him from what he is doing.. so.. my fren and I hurry up and finish all our food.. and right after we leave our seat, he went and found no left over( he should be stressed because he can "collect" nothing from us.

This teaches me something.. yes.. We should never judge the book by its cover..we will never know what someone intend to do.. and have did.. so.. next time when u see me, try not to judge me by how I look k? I won't want you to bang against the wall.. Hahaha.. and to my fren, I'm truly sorry you lost your belonging. I know it meant a lot to you.. and I hope you can find it..

私奔到月球 - 五月天 & 陳綺貞

This is a cute and sweet song.. I never really like MayDay before this.. but lately.. I'm kinda in love with their songs..

知足 - 五月天

I realised, the question to my previous post.. can be solved if .. and only if.. we can alway be contended with what you have.. and this is what this MV trying to say.. " Be contended"

Life?

At times, I will wonder.. will I ever feel contended with all that I have? I know what I have is not much.. but is it enough for me? The truth is, we human will never be satisfy with what we have.. maybe this does not apply to all beings.. but, to most of us.. it is applicaple..

When you eventually get what you want.. you tend to want more.. and more and more... and the story goes on.. we will tend to get greedy.. and will never be satisfy with what we have? Because when things remain status quo for too long.. some will get bored.. some will feel too comfortable of what they have and tend to take advantage of it.. and some will start to look for something more challenging..

Some will feel conteded when they get "approval" or praised from others that what they have been doing correct.. some will just refuse to change because they are too comfortable with what they have because they are afraid of change? I'm afraid of uncertainty.. and so I never like to wait.. because by waiting.. I somehow handed my "future" to uncertainty.. and I'm afraid of uncertainty..

At times, I will hope that I'm bit more stronger.. thn I will not feel tired that easily.. that I will be ok with what ever that placed in front of me.. that I will have the courage to change what ever that I know can be better.. that I can stop crying in the middle of the night when I feel so helpless.. thn maybe I will see what I have missed out when I'm afraid of what I'm afraided.. and know that I'm not as alone as I thought.. and that the tears are there to remind me how it is like to feel happy.. and the coldness in the middle of the night is to remind me how it is like to feel warm.. and the loneliness is there to remind me how it is like when you have someone there for you.. But, will I eventually feel so these?

Traffic

Yesterday when I was on my way back to Subang, along the highway, there was this long jam all the way from Senawang Area up until Nilai. Well, it is understandable if the congestion is due to accidents but.. the stupid part is.. we have no idea what causes us to jam for almost 2 hours on this less than one hour journey.

Life, is it the same to? when you are very clear where you are and where you will be heading to, somewhere in the middle of the path, you will be blinded and will somehow wonder why all this "traffic" happened.. you will slow down and wonder what happen. you estimate that you will "reached" in few years time.. you might feel very much lost and will start to wonder what was your initial motive for choosing this path.. you will start to hold on your steps.. and start to look for other alternative choices of life.

Life, is all about your choices.. will you be lost half way of your life? will you start to question your choices and maybe regret what you have chosen and start looking for other alternative? I used to question myself for everything and blame myself for everything that happen around me even when I did nothing wrong.. stupid?Yes, at this point of life, I do feel stupid for all these.. but, at the very least, I grew stronger.. Life is all about choices, taking chances and learning. .right? You will learn from life, you might regret for the choices you made.. but, you are who you are because of the choices you made, right? No point regreting, learn from the mistakes and try not to repeat it all over again..as it will be call as a waste of your time and maybe your life?

Doggy

For those that know me well, you will definitely know that I love dogs.. in fact, I'm used to have dogs by my side ever since I was born as I was told so.. But, I can only remember this 5 dogs in my life which 4 of them are still with me.

Actually, I won easily get attached with people around me.. what more dogs.. I tend to build a shield or wall all around me.. I tend to isolate myself from the people around me.. maybe that's why people think I'm cold and ego maybe.. but once the wall is broken.. I'm actually a nice and friendly gal.. at least I think so..

I remembered I used to be so afraid of dogs that when my dad bring my dogs for walk and when they pass by me.. i tend to climb the table or even my parent's car so that the dog won't go near me.. Now, I tend to run to them when I'm home.. hahaha.. things change.. people change.. I changed too.

Jacky
I miss Jacky which died a year ago.. he had been by my side for 13 years.. He died last year..although he never seems to break the wall between us.. but I still miss him occasionally.


Ranger

The second dog in my life.. Ranger.. he is somehow the gourd dog in my family.. he really takes good care of us.. I remembered once when there was a dog that was about to attack my dad early in the morning.. Ranger rushed out of my house and attack the dog before the dog attack my dad.. and he was injured because of that.. again and again he showed his loyalty..



The third dog..Snowy.. she is a mixed Terrier.. she used to have long "hair".. but recently, she had a hair cut.. although others might think she looks better with "long hair".. but she is still my lovable doggy.. and I still love her with all my heart.. She is very loyal.. and she lets me hug her when I'm down.. and trust me.. this will let me feel so much better.. maybe because the thought of having someone by my side will cheered me up..





Poppy.. The next dog that I love with all my heart.. he is "famous" with his "hand hand".. because he will give me his "hand" when he is very happy and want me to pet him.. he loves fruits.. and so, when I'm having my apple or any kinda fruit.. he will look at me with his big eyes.. and you will have to give some of your fruits for him.. because you can't possibly reject him..






Wolly,the puppy we have since last year.. in fact, he is very very notty.no.. he is not Snowy's pup.. but Snowy actually treat him as her son.. and he treat Snowy likes his mom.. at least we think so.. he is adorable.. but notty..

My doggies.. how can possibly love them less when they are so cute and adorable and so true.. right?

Holidays

Finally, I'll be having my holidays very soon.. I have been waiting for my holiday for so so long after my finals ended.. but.. the weird part is.. when it finally comes, I actually feel like going back to study.. maybe because I know I'll be having a really bored holidays or is it that.. when things becomes very stereotype I will start to feel bored and hope for something exciting to happen ?

But, it is very normal to hope for a holidays after you have been studying and having a really tiring days of assignments, works and stuff right? But right after you have your break for about 2 weeks.. will you start to feel bored and hope to actually go for class all over again? Try to imagine I having holidays of few months.. let me count.. from June up until end of Sept.. If you don't have any plans and just wake up sleep, sleep wake up and this is your daily routine.. I will eventually afraid of sleeping.. hahaha.. because I will definitely won't want to called as pig..

I will try to get a part time job. not now.. but soon.. after my stupid moral class ends.. which will end very soon from now.. then I'll head back to Melaka.. my home.. Well,I know a lot of people from my place actually have a one day trip to go KL just to shop.. but the weird part is.. even though I have been staying in KL for more than a year, i don shop in KL.. I will actually travel back to Melaka to shop.. funny right? is it I alone that do so?

Understanding..

We always hope to get someone that are understanding.. will always stand by us no matter what happen.. and will continue to stand by us.. because we will hope that they will understand us well enough to sand by us regardless what ever action or things we said or do.. but the through are you being equally understanding too? will you do the same too? because if you are experiencing the same thing.. you will know.. it takes more than just time.. it takes you courage and make you become numb..

When you are told that things go again what was planned and you are expected to be understanding for whatever that is happening.. you know tears will follow by with the so call "understanding"..and yet you are expected to be so.. will there be anyone that will continue to stand by you and understand what you are going through too?

I'm not superman.. As much as I wish to be emotion-less.. I'm a human being too.. one will all the emotions, feeling.. I do feel sad.. emotional.. and at times, tears will start falling when I'm all alone in the middle of night.. I don complain.. because I know I'm expected to be understanding.. but who will understand me if I never made my feelings clear? As much as I wish to be the wind that stop for no one..the cactus that has no feeling and will be able to protect myself from all the harm around me.. I'm still a human being with all the emotions that I'm trying very hard to hide from people around me.. but if you know me well enough.. if you look deep enough into my eyes.. you will see what's in my eyes.. and maybe my soul.. those that hurt me.. I'm thankful for making me stronger.. but please.. give me sometime to be numb for it will make me immune for the harm.. and so that my tears will be too numb to even drip down..

I'm expected to be understanding.. but everyone has their limit and time frame for the "understanding".. mine is almost up? I dunno.. I'm starting to get tired.. I'm starting to feel numb.. I don expect people to understand what I'm going through.. but I don expect me to feel that alone or at least not alone on this too.. because the truth is, I'm not as strong as seen.. I'm not as understanding as I'm expected.. because when i start to please people around me.. at times, i will still feel very much hurt.. even after the wound heal.. because the scar will still be there.. so, am I still being expected to be the understanding one?I guess I'm.. but how long more can I stand by you? Ultimately, how well do I understand you? I might not understand you.. but you can make me understand you.. by telling me what's in ur mind.. because I believe what that are not told.. will remain unknown.. So, if you wish to understand me.. continue to read my blog..