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Monday, June 1, 2009


We always hope to get someone that are understanding.. will always stand by us no matter what happen.. and will continue to stand by us.. because we will hope that they will understand us well enough to sand by us regardless what ever action or things we said or do.. but the through are you being equally understanding too? will you do the same too? because if you are experiencing the same thing.. you will know.. it takes more than just time.. it takes you courage and make you become numb..

When you are told that things go again what was planned and you are expected to be understanding for whatever that is happening.. you know tears will follow by with the so call "understanding"..and yet you are expected to be so.. will there be anyone that will continue to stand by you and understand what you are going through too?

I'm not superman.. As much as I wish to be emotion-less.. I'm a human being too.. one will all the emotions, feeling.. I do feel sad.. emotional.. and at times, tears will start falling when I'm all alone in the middle of night.. I don complain.. because I know I'm expected to be understanding.. but who will understand me if I never made my feelings clear? As much as I wish to be the wind that stop for no one..the cactus that has no feeling and will be able to protect myself from all the harm around me.. I'm still a human being with all the emotions that I'm trying very hard to hide from people around me.. but if you know me well enough.. if you look deep enough into my eyes.. you will see what's in my eyes.. and maybe my soul.. those that hurt me.. I'm thankful for making me stronger.. but please.. give me sometime to be numb for it will make me immune for the harm.. and so that my tears will be too numb to even drip down..

I'm expected to be understanding.. but everyone has their limit and time frame for the "understanding".. mine is almost up? I dunno.. I'm starting to get tired.. I'm starting to feel numb.. I don expect people to understand what I'm going through.. but I don expect me to feel that alone or at least not alone on this too.. because the truth is, I'm not as strong as seen.. I'm not as understanding as I'm expected.. because when i start to please people around me.. at times, i will still feel very much hurt.. even after the wound heal.. because the scar will still be there.. so, am I still being expected to be the understanding one?I guess I'm.. but how long more can I stand by you? Ultimately, how well do I understand you? I might not understand you.. but you can make me understand you.. by telling me what's in ur mind.. because I believe what that are not told.. will remain unknown.. So, if you wish to understand me.. continue to read my blog..

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